The Masters of the Universe

 First impressions from (my) Day 1 of The Masters. I’m thinking that the false-positive Covid test might have been a good thing.

After one day my neck is sore, my back hurts, my knees are shot and my feet are numb. On the bright side, it happened at the mecca of sports venues. A lot of the aforementioned complaints are basically my fault as I forgot to bring my bottle of Tylenol.

I hadn’t worked the tournament since 2016 and the change because of Covid was undeniable. When Vijay Singh teed off first thing in the morning, it was hard to believe the course was even open. In years past, as soon as the gates opened, there was a mad dash by a flood of patrons to claim prime spots. Today, you couldn’t even sense a trickle.

Some other weird occurences: I heard a loud buzzing noise early on in my shift and discovered a drone above the property. By the way the Augusta National Golf Club has bought up land by the course, I figured their air space would be restricted and they would have employed self-defense measures. Watching players on the putting green I saw a pale golfer?? How does that happen?

And though there’s plenty to watch, at times the work can be deathly boring.

Q: What happens when we make noise and a golfer’s shot goes out of whack?

A: Caddy whomp us

My second post of the day was far away from the course. I used a strategy I came up with when I was briefly stationed at a remote outpost five years ago. Singing (softly) helps pass the time, especially since I forgot my watch. A sampling included “Disco Inferno,” the theme from “Paddington Bear” and “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant” (it’s long).

Anyway it was a long 14 hours, but I’m ready to turn around and do it again.